Bad me for not updating! Written 6/12/2012

I feel like its been forever since I have been on here.

Side note: I've really been wanting another tattoo. I want a simple heart on my wrist.

A lot has been happening.

Moving.
Vacation.
Work.

First off, moving. My roommate and I are moving to a house in a week. I'm looking forward to it. Its a nice space and it is closer to work. My room is packed up and my furniture (except for my bed and 3 pieces) are currently at my parents house. I want this next week to go by fast. So we can do this and get it over and done with.

Second, VACATION. I know I mentioned Vancouver in the past but I've bought my ticket to the Fringe Event. Very soon, my sister, brother-in-law, possibly my brother and I will be buying hotel and plane tickets. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited. But first I have to get through the rest of June, July, and the first week of August.

Third, work. I used to be an assistant in one of the two and three year old classrooms. However I have taken over the school age summer program. Today was the last day of the first week. It was hectic but bearable. :) One week down, eight to go.

SO :)

I know its been a while, forgive me.

I did a lot of thinking about the Vancouver Trip, to the Fringe Event. I made up my mind to go. I am super excited to be going. I feel that I can save up that money and make this a trip to remember. I am kind of feeling a regret though. I spent a lot of time asking some of my family members to go. My mom didnt want me to go alone so I asked and asked. Now I feel as though I would have enjoyed the trip alone. I want to meet people there, at the Fringe Event. What if I wanted to hang out with them? If I dont head back to the hotel room by a certain time, is it an issue? Better not be. LOL

I colored my hair back to its normal color. I'm in love with it.

Something that is on my mind.

So at work, there are two positions available and I am going to apply for one. It will be a teaching position  and will come with more pay and benefits. Sounds great, right?

Here's the catch. Currently in those two positions are two great coworkers. They have been acting teachers since the positions came open. I know one would get the job pretty much immediately. The other position would be a toss up between the two of us. I have more education and somewhat more experience, however she knows how to run the classroom and knows the parents. I know of the parents but I haven't worked closely with them as much as she has. Not to mention, I would feel kinda bad that I took the position from her. I'm nervous.

However at the end of the day when bills need to be paid, I can't worry about whose feelings I am hurting. What should I do?

Should I go or stay?

So incase I havent mentioned thus far in my blog, I am very interested in the show Fringe. I dont even think the words "very interested" do my obsession justice. I LOVE FRINGE!
That leads into this blog's topic. I saw that there is going to be a "Fringe Event" in Vancouver in August. I  live on the East Coast of the US. I want to go but this is a big decision. I am off for two weeks in August, if I am with my current job. My job is probably going to be pretty hectic this summer, with having different students and such. I can save up for this trip and I really want to be there. However, I dont have anyone to travel with. I asked my family about it and two were somewhat interested. I dont want to miss out on this. You see, Fringe has been renewed to be shown on FOX however, for the first half of the fifth season. There may never be another "Fringe Event" again.
Should I travel on my own, whether by car or plane? Should I take a chance at Fringe Heaven and enjoy the possibilities? I'm 26 and I am able to care for myself. My mother says, "Im not saying no, but Im saying its not safe." She is right, but I dont want to miss out on something that could be a once in a lifetime thing.

Where I thought I'd be

I never want to feel the pain
of being left out.
I never want to feel the blush of my skin
when I say that I regret things.
The ways things were,
I never thought I'd be where I am
Careless footsteps in reckless places
Dried tears and empty heart
Fears and blessings all together.
It makes for a cold night and endless wishing
to be where I thought I'd be.
Essences of others happy and free,
Never wanting the act of jealousy.
Never wishing the downfall
Downfall of a broken bruised and battered heart.
Give me the chance, O Night
To disappear.
Give me the chance, O Stars,
to glaze upon you just once more.
Give me a chance, my heart,
to put everything inside to right.
The light comes after the dark to chase it away, unearths the heavens.

Round two

So I have decided to try Atkins again and this time I am going to try and start it over my Easter Break which is the sixth to the ninth of April. I need to lose this weight. I am hoping that these first three days arent as bad as last time. I was shaky and unsure. Lets see what happens. I will update as much as I can.

Thoughts of the Night

So my favorite television show is Fringe. Tonights episode had to do with love.
I have mixed feelings about love. I have love from friends and family. I know I'm cared for. However I am going to talk about relationship love. I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had one in a while yet I have been going out on dates. However I am starting to feel that love is an illusion and cannot be found. Why believe in something so fickle and hard to find? Why should it be so hard to find your match? Do you think I prefer being alone? No. I pray and I try but nothing yet. I start talking to guys and they seem nice but my heart reaches a point where I feel I would be happier being numb and not thinking of love. I shouldn't be numb but its sooooo much easier. What should I do?