Another poem from my myspace December 2007

Shed them like Clothes

I cant seem to think
Its weird that no matter how fast I fled
It all caught up to me
I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be and
I find that the person I am isnt who I want to be
I want to shed these thoughts like clothes
I want to throw them in a pile and walk away
I need to think things thru instead of walking away
Because walking away never did anything for anyone.
Its numbing really
The way things are
I know I have the power to change but
When it comes to it, I dont.
I dread the thoughts when they come
I walk around paralyzed inside
Never letting myself surface
I couldnt find my heart if I looked.
Ive stashed it away for safe keeping
And put it in harm's way.
I want someone to come and change me.
I want to shed these thoughts like clothes
I want to throw them in a pile and walk away
I need to think things thru instead of walking away
Because walking away never did anything for anyone.
I'm standing next to you
but I'm so far away.
I feel I'm a stranger in my own body
I have the directions to fix everyone's problems
 but my own.
I'm not the person I knew
I'm not the person who I want to be.
I dont know who I want to be
I'm fixing the outside to make it better to look at
But the kindness in my eyes hides the ugliness inside.
But I wanna shed these thoughts
Shed them like clothes
I wanna down liquid life and feel it
rush down my throat
Dance around and never come of the high
I want to experience what I'm supposed to be experiencing
I only think in the form of surviving the low I'm in.
Someone get me out these thoughts.
Help me shed them like clothes and we can survive together.
I"ll be thankful for this