A poem from my myspace November 2007

the horizon in front of me.

Its been a while since I have been someone I liked
I lost touch of the one person that will stand by me through it all.
Now as I look back, I've found
This person I am
Isnt in the place that I should be
This person I amdoesnt have the status I should
I am not very happy.
I am mad at myself.
I dont want to be like this.
I dont want to look like this.
I cant find solace.
I cant find happiness.
You cant tell me to be happy.
You cant tell me to cherish what I have because
I dont want to.
I want to be happy.
I want to overcome this.
I feel that one more step over this ridge could hurt me
I am at a standstill.
As these forces come around me,
I feel out of place
Out of control
Out of plays.
I paint a smile on my face such as the horizon.
Its so beautiful that one tends to look the flaws.
I've gotten used to tricking people into letting them think
I'm okay.
I dont want to explain.
There's not enough time.
I've gotten shed this skin
I'm gonna let some of this wilt off.
I'm gonna change and dont think its for the worst
I want to love the person I am. or will be